Just Call Me Candy

I might as well announce it to the world. My friends are harassing me non-stop. My new name seems to be "Candy".

Around Christmas I lost my cell phone. If I had to guess what happened, it probably ended up on a shelf or, more likely, in a cooler at Costco...don't ask. Anywho, I was not terribly upset by it. Personally, I hate cell phones, but Jim likes that I'll be able to call for help in some sort of emergency and likes to be able to contact me during the school year without having to go through the school's switchboard. Our cell phone contract was up in June, and then I could get a new one for free. No biggie. So June passes, it's summer, and we didn't even think about the cell phone. I thought I would be able to remain cell phone free. I was wrong.

We took our anniversary trip to the beach. I love the ocean!! It was extremely hot, but we managed to have lots of fun. Lilac Rain and I tried boogie boarding, while Jim kayak surfed. Nights were spent learning to play cribbage (so much fun!), hunting for shells, and stalking the ghost crabs. When we got home, there was a package on the porch. Jim had ordered new cell phones for both of us.

He opened the package and pulled out two boxes. I went about my business unpacking, starting laundry, and looking at emails. Jim took out a cell phone from one box and said, "This one's mine." Alright, whatever...it's a Blue Razor. He says, "Don't you want to open yours?" Sure. I open the box and can't keep from smiling and laughing. "Why would you do this to me?" is all I can say. Lilac Rain is bobbing around going, "What? What?" And I pull out the phone...A PINK RAZOR! I say, "You realize that this is *the* phone of sorority girls, right?" He just laughs and laughs...he finds this totally amusing, but then tries to find composure and plays stupid. "What? (shocked) Don't you like it? I thought that you would love it. I *told* you I was going to get you a Pink Razor. Besides, your new students will think your hip...totally cool because *you* have a pink razor." "I thought you were kidding!" Jackass crap weasel. Don't be alarmed...jackass and crap weasel are my terms of endearment for my husband that I truly love, even though he finds humor in the oddest ways. It's like a trade off...he can find humor in my horror and I get to lovingly call him a jackass, crap weasel or both. He then gets to laugh about it, because, again, he finds humor in the oddest ways.

So, I have a friend who has decided that my new name should be "Candy" for reasons that are so silly I don't even want to explain. Another friend asked me if I was going to start listening to Brittney Spears, NSync, and Hannson...like, OMG! Like, really? Totally.

Jim is constantly handing me the cell phone and saying things like, "Here's your Pink Razor. Call your friends on your Pink Razor. Don't forget your Pink Razor. " and laughing about it like there's no tomorrow. He's even getting Lilac Rain in on the fun. It's tag team torture, that's what it is.

I'm heading to Costco on Wednesday. My Pink Razor might just find a new home in one of the coolers.