Being a teacher rocks...who would have thought that by the time I turned 32, I would have 101+ kids? Luckily, I don't have to pay for college tuition for all of them.
Yesterday was graduation for the seniors. I went because 1. These kids were my first students in North Carolina and 2. My principal required all teachers to go. Obviously, I was going to graduation anyway...these were *my kids*. As the students were in line, another teacher told me that a particular student was asking for me, so I made my way from the front to her spot in the back. It took me forever to get to her (she was near the end because of her last name) and as I strolled down the line, all I could hear was my name being called in different directions. Everytime I turned around, there was another student waiting for their turn to have a hug. I got so many, "I love you"s along with the token phrase that all of "my kids" adopted, "You rock my socks!". There were smiles and lots of tears. When I finally found Jessie, she was all smiles...and on her cell phone. I grabbed it from her and said, "Jessie needs to graduate now...call back later" and hung up. She just looked at me, laughed and while throwing her arms around me said, "I'm *really* going to miss you. I love you soooo much!! " and I know that she meant it with all of her heart. When she passed me during the ceremony, she stopped, blew me a kiss and again said, "I love you!". I know her situation...the life that she deals with. I've been her substitute mom for 2 years...boyfriends, breakups, sickness, prom, job dilemas, surgery, sports, skipping, the fear of failing, and the success. I was there for it all. I'm so proud of her...of all of *my kids*.
These kids know that they *belonged* to me-that I treated them exactly as I treat my own daughter. When I lectured them on behavior issues or the way they were slacking on their homework, I would say, "I'm tired of changing 101+ diapers and wiping all of your butts...get toilet trained and learn to do it yourself. " I remember when a group of seniors decided to call me "mom" and I responded with an exasperated, "What?!?". The kids laughed and said, "She really does love us...we really are her kids!", which lead to a conversation about graduation, new responsibilities, hopes and fears. They know that I expect greatness from them and that I'll stand by them even when things aren't going their way. If I could adopt them all, I would.
I know that by the fall, I'll have empty nest syndrom and thinking about each of them often. Thoughts of my seniors will become further and further apart, as the next year turns into the next. Two things are for certain, though...I'll *never* forget this class of seniors and they'll always be *my kids*.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Friday, June 8, 2007
Discovering Happiness
Let me start off by saying this post is not meant to gain sympathy. It simply is what it is.
It has taken me my entire life to discover true happiness. It seems that past events in my life that should have made me happy just didn't. I know why that is, but I'm not going to go into it today. Now, don't get me wrong...I've experienced joy in life, but nothing like I've felt since I've moved to my little cabin nestled deep in the woods. About a year ago, I was playing frisbee in the backyard with my daughter and husband. Our dog, Karma was running from family member to family member, while Trixie (the dog that literally came with the house) watched from her hiding place among the trees. The weather was warm, but not hot and the sky was clear. And I remember taking in the experience, feeling so full emotionally, and thinking, "For the first time in my life, I'm really happy." I guess by that thought, I should have been instantly sad, but I wasn't. I'm still not upset by that thought because I know that even though it took me 31 years to feel that, my life hasn't been wasted. I've learned a lot for someone my age, and I'm sure that the events that have unfolded in my life have been for a particular reason. Just don't ask me what the specific reason is...that lesson hasn't been revealed to me just yet.
I took today off of work. It was the last day for students, and I just didn't want to be there. Thursday is my official last day of school and then my summer begins. We're having some friends over tomorrow to celebrate the end of another school year, so Lilac Rain and I did some cleaning. Today was one of those days that really made me happy. I was doing dishes, and Lilac Rain asked if she could help clean. I made her a bucket of warm water, vinegar, and a few drops of essential lemon oil so she could wash the fronts of the cabinets. As I was doing the dishes, I looked down at my daughter and was so happy to be sharing the moment with her. We were singing along with our newest Wilco CD, laughing, splashing water, and just having fun talking about our summer plans. I know it sounds cheesey, but we had a ball. Who knew that cleaning could be so much fun?
It has taken me my entire life to discover true happiness. It seems that past events in my life that should have made me happy just didn't. I know why that is, but I'm not going to go into it today. Now, don't get me wrong...I've experienced joy in life, but nothing like I've felt since I've moved to my little cabin nestled deep in the woods. About a year ago, I was playing frisbee in the backyard with my daughter and husband. Our dog, Karma was running from family member to family member, while Trixie (the dog that literally came with the house) watched from her hiding place among the trees. The weather was warm, but not hot and the sky was clear. And I remember taking in the experience, feeling so full emotionally, and thinking, "For the first time in my life, I'm really happy." I guess by that thought, I should have been instantly sad, but I wasn't. I'm still not upset by that thought because I know that even though it took me 31 years to feel that, my life hasn't been wasted. I've learned a lot for someone my age, and I'm sure that the events that have unfolded in my life have been for a particular reason. Just don't ask me what the specific reason is...that lesson hasn't been revealed to me just yet.
I took today off of work. It was the last day for students, and I just didn't want to be there. Thursday is my official last day of school and then my summer begins. We're having some friends over tomorrow to celebrate the end of another school year, so Lilac Rain and I did some cleaning. Today was one of those days that really made me happy. I was doing dishes, and Lilac Rain asked if she could help clean. I made her a bucket of warm water, vinegar, and a few drops of essential lemon oil so she could wash the fronts of the cabinets. As I was doing the dishes, I looked down at my daughter and was so happy to be sharing the moment with her. We were singing along with our newest Wilco CD, laughing, splashing water, and just having fun talking about our summer plans. I know it sounds cheesey, but we had a ball. Who knew that cleaning could be so much fun?
Saturday, June 2, 2007
How I became a mama of a rock star in training
I wish I could figure out how to put this in my profile...
That's my baby girl with her rock star idol, Jeff Tweedy. She absolutely loves Wilco! This picture was taken by Charles Harris at the Chapel Hill, NC show on March 5th, 2006. You can check out all of the pics that Charles took of Jeff and Lilac Rain that night at http://www.charlesharris.com/wilco/hummingirl.
In October of 2005, Lilac Rain attended her first Wilco show. That was in Ashville and was her 30th concert! We were about 3 rows away, and Jeff seemed to have a great time entertaining Lilac Rain for the song "Hummingbird." There was a review written about that show (http://www.popmatters.com/music/concerts/w/wilco-051014.shtml).
After her two experiences with Wilco, Lilac Rain definately wants to be a rock star. Her favorite expression to hear has been, "Rock on little sister" for the past two years now. All I have to do is say that as she's walking away, and she turns so slowly with the HUGE, dreamy smile on her face as it takes her back to the first time she met Jeff. She's gotten a few of her friends together, and sometimes we have overnight "band practice" at our house. I think guitar lessons are around the corner.
Our next Wilco show is coming up fast. It'll be on June 20th. Lilac Rain is excited (of course), but I have to keep reminding her that she may not get that special attention from Jeff everytime. She just gives me this look...almost a half "You're crazy! I'm too cute not to notice" with a quarter "WTF?!?" and a quarter of "Maybe she's right..." I'm trying to prepare her so her heart isn't broken when it happens. After all, even a 7 year old rock star can fall.
That's my baby girl with her rock star idol, Jeff Tweedy. She absolutely loves Wilco! This picture was taken by Charles Harris at the Chapel Hill, NC show on March 5th, 2006. You can check out all of the pics that Charles took of Jeff and Lilac Rain that night at http://www.charlesharris.com/wilco/hummingirl.
In October of 2005, Lilac Rain attended her first Wilco show. That was in Ashville and was her 30th concert! We were about 3 rows away, and Jeff seemed to have a great time entertaining Lilac Rain for the song "Hummingbird." There was a review written about that show (http://www.popmatters.com/music/concerts/w/wilco-051014.shtml).
After her two experiences with Wilco, Lilac Rain definately wants to be a rock star. Her favorite expression to hear has been, "Rock on little sister" for the past two years now. All I have to do is say that as she's walking away, and she turns so slowly with the HUGE, dreamy smile on her face as it takes her back to the first time she met Jeff. She's gotten a few of her friends together, and sometimes we have overnight "band practice" at our house. I think guitar lessons are around the corner.
Our next Wilco show is coming up fast. It'll be on June 20th. Lilac Rain is excited (of course), but I have to keep reminding her that she may not get that special attention from Jeff everytime. She just gives me this look...almost a half "You're crazy! I'm too cute not to notice" with a quarter "WTF?!?" and a quarter of "Maybe she's right..." I'm trying to prepare her so her heart isn't broken when it happens. After all, even a 7 year old rock star can fall.
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